Just In Case This Whole Teaching Thing Doesn't Work Out . . .

Yesterday, I took Bitty to Whole Foods with me.  It has been a while since we have been grocery shopping together.  During my maternity leave, we made weekly trips, but nowadays...well, we get a lot of take out.  Don't judge.  I'm tired and busy and don't have time to cook so why bother grocery shopping.

I had almost forgotten how much I enjoy our grocery trips.  I plop Bitty into the ERGOand away we go.  She likes to look around wide-eyed and I like to tell her about all of the different foods we're buying.  We always get LOTS of attention.  Everybody loves a mother with her baby.  Especially when she's strapped into one of those baby carriers.

Knowing that we would probably attract more attention than the average grocery shopper, I thought maybe I should wear something that can NOT be mistaken for pajamas, and changed from one of the three pairs of yoga pants that I rotate during the weekend into a pair of jeans.  A pair of my old jeans.  Yes, it's true, I can finally fit into a couple pairs of my pre-pregnancy jeans.  The big ones.  If I suck way in and squeeze my butt cheeks together, then do ten squats and ten lunges to stretch them out a bit, there are two pairs that I can zip and button.  I'm aware that my thighs probably resemble stuffed sausage casings, but three weeks ago those pants weren't even close to buttoning so I'm going for it.

As usual, Bitty worked the crowd by flashing flirty, toothless grins at the strangers and shouting out her food requests at the top of her lungs.    We were the target of many smiles and "How old is she?"  "She's beautiful" comments.  I was just soaking it up and basking in the glory of my baby's cuteness.

Eventually we made our way to the checkout line.  I always get one of those double-decker shopping carts that look like this:

Because it's easier to maneuver through the aisles

I squatted down to remove the items from the lower basket and no fewer than three people asked if I needed some help!  Wow, it is unbelievable how much attention a baby will get you.  And then, a fourth person offered assistance!  This one a somewhat elderly lady.  I should be asking her if she needs help, I thought.  "Oh no, that's OK, I've got it!"  I cheerfully answered.

"But dear, I think you need to pull up your pants a bit,"  the old woman replied with a look of concern upon her face.

Embarrassing.  Completely, utterly humiliating.  Then I started to wonder if those other do-gooders were actually trying to spare me the shame of having my a** crack peeking out for the world to see.  Indeed, I have been trying to figure out a way to obtain part-time employment after this school year, but plumbing certainly wasn't on my radar.